20 Sep Baby Boomers Guide to Anger: Why Me? The Second Stage of Grief
Kubler Ross Stages of Grief
Elderly Problems by Boomeryearbook.com
Baby boomers in the second stage of grieving can be hard to put up with. The second stage in the process can be confrontational moodiness, unreasonable demanding and downright rude behavior. The grieving process is a roller coaster of emotions from start to finish and often leaves a fall out of broken friendships as grieving baby boomers blame everyone in the world for being left without a much loved partner; from the doctors to the medication to the incompetence of the funeral director. What they are really doing is hurting so badly they cannot cope and anger can sometimes be a way of dealing with the pain.
Some second stage grieving behavior comes with an alarming propensity to cry in rivers. Although some manage to contain public tears and reserve their weeping for bedtime, others weep copiously until friends and family despair of when the crying might finally come to a stop. Some baby boomers find others’ tears embarrassing and hard to witness but in fact the crying process is healing and should not be interfered with unnecessarily, unless the person happens to be suffering from some illness which might be aggravated by constant tears.
The angry second stage of grieving can prolong for many months and sometimes people who are close to the grieving person can become so accustomed to being treated badly, the end of this uncomfortable part of the grieving process goes by unnoticed. It is quite common for grieving baby boomers to lose friends in this prickly stage of grief and people can hardly be blamed for wishing to avoid someone who criticizes and picks fault at every opportunity. If you have patience, however, the sunny and affectionate person you once knew will emerge on the other side of stage two grieving.
The second stage of grieving is deeply emotional and during the moments when the grieving person needs his (or her) friends and family the most, it is often at this stage that they must survive alone, as they might have alienated those closest to them. Angry confrontation is not a scenario most people voluntarily put up with. Baby boomers in the depths of grief might even ask the question: why me? Why couldn’t it happen to you instead? You don’t love your husband (or wife) as much as I loved mine. Why couldn’t it happen to you? It is hurtful and the next hour or the next day, an apology might reasonably be expected but it rarely comes: the person is too deeply involved in their own pain to notice anyone else’s.
Friends could certainly not be blamed for turning away from someone who is being so unreasonable. However, at this point it might be a good idea to ask yourself how you would behave if it was you who had suffered the loss and remind yourself that one day it will be your turn to go through the grieving process and your turn to be angry.
The Psychological Article on Anger: Why Me? The Second Stage of Grief is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.
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