22 Sep Baby Boomers Guide to Picking Up the Pieces: Putting Life Back together Again After Divorce
When it comes to divorce and separation, baby boomers are no different than anyone else, with the exception that they have to go through it when they are considerably older than a younger divorcee. It is this age which makes baby boomers more vulnerable, perhaps, than the average thirty something who just decided to throw out the husband of two years with the rest of the trash.
The young are considerably more resilient when it comes to recovering from illness, tragedy and trauma of any kind; divorce and separation are no different. Psychological articles tell us that the average recovery rate for a broken romance for a youngster of eighteen years old is not more than three months. For a thirty year old, the recovery is estimated to be around nine or ten months. For the baby boomer generation, the recovery from a broken love affair could take years! For people of fifty five and above, there might never be a successful recovery. For this reason, older lovers need to be ultra careful when choosing a partner.
Just because your partner has displayed spectacular poor taste and run off with ‘whomever’, there is no need to behave as if your life has come to an end. There are no doubt all the considerations of any break up, such as who gets custody of the dog and who gets to keep the Sterling and so on, but the most important thing to consider when going through a break up is: what do I do next?
If you feel your life has been seriously compromised by your relationship with someone who has turned out to be less than reliable, it might be a good idea to consult a therapist about issues of recovery; perhaps attend one or two help groups. For others who are just angry, there are hundreds of clubs, social and otherwise out there that specialize in taking your mind off the bad stuff. Get out there and find one!
In spite of our age, Baby boomers can and most oftentimes do, bounce back from most drama and divorce and separation are just more drama in life; stuff to be put up with until the sun comes out. Taking the attitude that you have been permanently scarred by your experiences with old ‘whatisname’ will probably result in just that. However, making a positive effort to not allow his (or her) philandering to get the better of your life will take you along a healthier path of recovery and probably facilitate a more rapid ‘moving on’ process.
Nobody would wish to diminish the importance of marriage and partnership, or even the seriousness of a long term love affair. However, such relationships cannot be allowed to color the lives of everyone involved to the extent that no moving on is possible. Nobody has died; nobody has contracted a serious disease; it will pass. And if it does not pass, then seek the help of someone who can help you make it pass!
The Psychological Article on Picking Up the Pieces: Putting Life Back together Again After an Older Divorce is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.
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