15 Sep Dating for Baby Boomers: Avoid the Bar Scene
Dating can be a pleasant experience for baby boomers or can equally turn into a nightmare for those who approach socializing with the wrong attitude. As baby boomers get older, the injustices of life can catch up with them in the form of losing life long companions such as wives and long term partners, either through death or divorce.
The resulting loneliness can prompt people to seek companionship but sometimes in all the wrong places. Baby boomers seeking a meaningful relationship often make the mistake of looking for company in a bar. This is less than sensible as someone who is spending a significant amount of time propping up a bar is hardly going to make a good prospect for a long term relationship.
Those who are serious about re-entering the social scene might be well advised to start with a special interest or hobby club and go from there. There will certainly be opportunities to drink socially and hopefully dance too but the personalities of potential companions are better judged sober.
When dating in later life, less is definitely more. Try to dress conservatively. If you have a penchant for donning bright red cowboy boots and wearing your hair in a pigtail, try to save it until you know the person a little better. Other people’s wardrobe shocks have a nasty tendency of killing off a date at the first fence.
When baby boomer gentlemen make an effort to take a lady out for dinner, they usually prefer to handle the reservations and instructions to the waiter personally. If you are a baby boomer lady, it might be a good idea to stand back a little when dealing with these situations. Often men are put off by someone taking over what they see as their role. Be cautious with each other. Your companion might have already spent a lifetime with a long term partner before being consigned to the dating scene for a second sitting. It’s a scary time for everyone so try to be understanding.
Someone who has spent a great deal of time alone after a bereavement or after losing a lifetime partner in some way might chatter away in the natural gaps that should punctuate a conversation. This is a result of being unaccustomed to company. Try to overlook it and try not to indulge in it yourself. Make sure the conversation is equally shared between you and try to learn something about your date.
Do not worry too much about the second date if you are still in the process of enjoying the first. Enjoy the sociability of the occasion and leave the arrangements for your next meeting to the end of the evening. There is no hurry and it is better not to give your date the impression that you are desperate to fill your calendar.
Should you find you have enjoyed your time with your date and you would like to see them again, by all means let them know but remember that baby boomer dates do not behave the same way as their younger counterparts: they have family commitments and hobbies and might not necessarily appreciate undue pressure being applied for further meetings. Patience…
The Psychological Article on Dating for Baby Boomers is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of baby boomers psychological coaching tips and how to alleviate elderly problems. We believe knowledge is power. We’d love to hear what you think.
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