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The vast majority of parents love taking care of their children, and appropriately, most of these parents are equally willing to retire from parental authority once their child has grown into adulthood. However, psychological articles<\/strong> show that co-dependent parents are not part of the vast majority of parents willing to relinquish control. Instead, co-dependent parents find it terribly hard to let go of parenting responsibilities and authoritarian power and continue treating their adult child as \u201ctheir little baby\u201d. Co-dependent parents of adult children thus relish having their child dependent on them for solutions to problems as well as life choices.<\/p>\n Co-dependent parents show extreme care and love, to such a high degree, that it becomes intrusive, demeaning and makes their child uncomfortable and insecure. Furthermore, psychological articles<\/strong> reveal that it is harmful for both the child and the parent. A co-dependent parent might consciously<\/em> want to be helpful, but the hovering, controlling behavior makes the adult child self-doubting and nervous and discourages the adult child\u2019s independent thoughts and activities. In extreme cases of co-dependent parents, the caretaker diminishes and debilitates the child\u2019s self-esteem to onerous levels and the adult child remains totally dependent on the parent; while internally feeling resentful and angered.<\/p>\n Psychological articles<\/strong> argue that such excessive attention towards children is unnatural and can cause serious damage to the personality of a child. It is capable of bringing pain to the parent as well. By not enabling a child to solve his problems and making him depend on them, the parents are hurting their child. They can make him an emotional cripple who will be unable to be self sufficient and adequately navigate the adult role of problem solving and decision making. A co-dependent parent robs the child of the ability to see relationships clearly and to recognize the responsibility of his\/her actions.<\/p>\n The co-dependent parent often lies and makes excuses for her child which results in maladaptive ways. Such parents think they can maintain control and build healthy relationships by fostering dependency, but this is never the case. The children of co-dependent parents, reveal psychological articles<\/strong>, are encouraged to comply with the decisions of the parents even if they disagree. The adult child feels incapable of challenging the parents who lead to irrational thinking and self doubt which can cause social withdrawal and future poor decision making strategies.<\/p>\n Psychological articles<\/strong> warn that a situation involving co-dependent parents is a delicate one. A co-dependent parent might believe they know what is best for their child without realizing that the child is being robbed of the right to choose and for chances of learning to make adult decisions. Psychological articles<\/strong> further state that co-dependent single mothers have even greater problems in understanding the independent adult life of their child. In particular, a lonely single mother might find it difficult to accept their child\u2019s leaving home, and thus they feel a loss of identification with a primary role and way of establishing their own self esteem.<\/p>\n Psychological articles<\/strong> stress that co-dependent parents must realize that it is natural for a child to grow up and make autonomous decisions. The adult child must have some freedom to live independently and choose according to what \u201cinternally\u201d feels right. Psychological articles<\/strong> tell us that parents can control co-dependency by getting support or professional help and learn to stop worrying and controlling their child\u2019s life. Additionally, psychological articles<\/strong> reveal that it is imperative that co-dependent parents stop trying to plan their adult child\u2019s every move and rather allow the child to find his own path in life.<\/p>\n The Psychological Article on Co-Dependency <\/em> is part of Boomer Yearbook’s continuing series of suggestions on coaching and how to alleviate elderly problems<\/strong>. We believe knowledge is power. We\u2019d love to hear what you think.<\/p>\n
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